Once again, in deference to the Fairness Doctrine, we have agreed to apply some "cap and trade" policies to the truth. Here is the latest from our friend Baghdad Bob, the Minister of Propaganda.
From the pen of Baghdad Bob:
Yes. It is once again being a pleasure to me to be writing to you this glorious day. I come here to defy the stinking, lying pigs that have multiplied upon the internets like stinking pigs – who lie… and multiply. (Did I already say that?)
Today I am wishing to speak out the truth about Glorious Leader Obama’s Omnibus Spending plan. It must be passed now and it must be passed without debate or examination. Transparency? Ha!
The spending plan will be passed. It is useless to resist – surrender.
Do not look to the strategy of holding fast to such outdated and mindless theories as letting capitalist American pigs keep more of their extravagant wages. Do not profess the antique virtues of less government spending. Those ideas are as useless as soap or cologne.
Who can know better how to distribute the fruits of America’s meager labors? Of course the answer is faceless, unaccountable government bureaucratic agents. You must trust!
Do not pay heed to the precipitous polling drop in approval and trust. Look not at the stinking collection of capitalism which you call Wall Street. Do not look to the infidel Democrats like Evan Bayh who have bent to the power of evil Rush Limbaugh in joining the obstructionists in the GOP. Blah!
You must trust what Dear Leader Obama says, not what he does. He says there is not a single earmark in this spending plan. Barack the Great has said he will go through each bill line by line to ensure there is no wasteful spending. Do not believe those who point out over 9,000 special handouts including funds for tattoo removal and pig fragrance. You must believe!
And even if there are earmarks in the bill (which there are not!) this is not his bill. It is merely a bill that was written before he was president. So it is the fault of George Bush, by way of Rush Limbaugh. There is nothing Dear Leader can do.
Do not resist my words. It is no use.
Yes. It is once again being a pleasure to me to be writing to you this glorious day. I come here to defy the stinking, lying pigs that have multiplied upon the internets like stinking pigs – who lie… and multiply. (Did I already say that?)
Today I am wishing to speak out the truth about Glorious Leader Obama’s Omnibus Spending plan. It must be passed now and it must be passed without debate or examination. Transparency? Ha!
The spending plan will be passed. It is useless to resist – surrender.
Do not look to the strategy of holding fast to such outdated and mindless theories as letting capitalist American pigs keep more of their extravagant wages. Do not profess the antique virtues of less government spending. Those ideas are as useless as soap or cologne.
Who can know better how to distribute the fruits of America’s meager labors? Of course the answer is faceless, unaccountable government bureaucratic agents. You must trust!
Do not pay heed to the precipitous polling drop in approval and trust. Look not at the stinking collection of capitalism which you call Wall Street. Do not look to the infidel Democrats like Evan Bayh who have bent to the power of evil Rush Limbaugh in joining the obstructionists in the GOP. Blah!
You must trust what Dear Leader Obama says, not what he does. He says there is not a single earmark in this spending plan. Barack the Great has said he will go through each bill line by line to ensure there is no wasteful spending. Do not believe those who point out over 9,000 special handouts including funds for tattoo removal and pig fragrance. You must believe!
And even if there are earmarks in the bill (which there are not!) this is not his bill. It is merely a bill that was written before he was president. So it is the fault of George Bush, by way of Rush Limbaugh. There is nothing Dear Leader can do.
Do not resist my words. It is no use.
Sincerely,
Baghdad Bob
The Minister of Propaganda
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