Top 10 clues your cruise ship has been taken over by pirates

It is becoming increasingly obvious that the Seven Seas are dangerous. A resurgence in pirate activity off the coast of Somalia has been all over the news. It is important for your safety, that you be educated in the subtle signs of pirate infestation. As a service to you, we present:

Top 10 clues your cruise ship has been taken over by pirates.

10. Isaac the Bartender begins wearing a puffy shirt behind the bar.

9. Formal dinner at the Captain’s table is black eye patch only.

8. For days after the cruise is over you can’t get that “Yo ho yo ho, a pirate’s life for me” song out of your head.

7. Optional on-shore excursions include rummaging, pillaging and setting fire to port buildings.

6. The room service menu includes cannonballs and gun powder.

5. Morning step aerobics is held on a dead man’s chest.

4. Snorkeling activities begin every afternoon at the plank.

3. The on board beauty salon offers five different styles of dreadlocks and beard braiding.

2. Strawberry margaritas are served with mini Jolly Roger flags instead of paper umbrellas.

1. You begin developing parrot-shaped tan lines on your shoulder.